Tuesday, January 31, 2006

State of The Union predications

I am going to make some bold claims for you all right now. I am predicting the following topics to be the focus of tonight's State of the Union address.

1) Iran, only one country in the axis of evil can have nukes and North Korea already called dibs.
2) Iraq is going well because an ethnic civil war and a near civil war are two very different things.
3) The Republicans are not really that corrupt. Abramoff and DeLay are only large donors to most of the party.
4) The new US energy solutions will be a combination of drilling in the arctic, killing everyone who disagrees with Bush and liberating their oil by March.
5) Samuel Alito is the best thing since Just Another Blog (or at least since Sandra Day O'Connor).
6) Mars is no longer our focus. After an exciting episode of Star Trek, Bush will announce his retirement and begin exploring the final frontier.
7) Democrats smell funny, and John Kerry and Ted Kennedy stink.
8) The economy is fantastic. Republicans have created hundreds of thousands of jobs (after misplacing 2.2 million), and now people can work at least three of them in order to have the lowest savings level since the great depression.
9) You can't spell illegal wire tapping with out "legal wire tapping"
10) Education, no child left behind seems to have left some children behind but George Bush isn't that smart and look where he is today!?

What do you think Bush will talk about?

If these hit you to close to home, then do what I am doing, here is this years State of the Union drinking game.


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